I am feeling quite nostalgic…which is a regular holiday season occurrence for me. Like many of us, I grew up in a very dysfunctional home and we were also quite poor. I really didn’t know though until I was older, which is a testament to my parents – who were obviously good at camouflaging that fact. As all parents, they did their best. When I was eight years old, we were ecstatic to find a toilet sitting under our Christmas tree with a big red bow tied around it. We had moved into an unfinished home which had yet to have plumbing. (Hey, you haven’t lived until you have used a 5 gallon bucket for a toi toi!)
My Mother had serious allergies but would suffer with hay fever all through Christmas so that we could enjoy a fresh cut tree. (Note: We were one of the first families to purchase one of those horrid fake trees back in the day!) And, most years we would wake up on Christmas morning to stockings filled with fruit and homemade taffy, and there would magically be an abundance of lovingly wrapped presents: A pair of socks, new pajamas, and precious little things one would never consider wrapping now. It always felt abundant. The one special day was filled with laughter, love, sharing, hot cocoa, caroling and foods reserved for only very special occasions. Daddy would even do the dishes! Special was saved for the holidays.
These are the memories I enjoy this time of year. It is the ‘feeling’ of the season which can be very difficult to recreate; except for in your mind. I am so lucky to have these memories and I know that our only legacy to our family and friends is LOVE. And, I am so blessed! Blessed with a wonderful family, great friends and a beautiful community. So filled with Love and Gratitude am I, that I remembered one of my favorite poems. A poem that feels as if it were written for a lover, but I realize now that it can be meant for anyone you love…so today I offer it to YOU!
Happy Solstice, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year . . . Diana
‘I CARRY YOUR HEART’ by E.E. Cummings
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)